Post by CPNJesus on Mar 18, 2012 16:56:48 GMT -5
After two millenia of doing nothing up in paradise, sitting on his ass whilst his father ran the heavenly brigade, Jesus could no longer handle another game of "count the clouds!" or "Name that Sin!" which he would routinely play with his angel buddies.
Jesus was just bored out of his fucking mind. One day, without his father's permission, Jesus decided to return to Earth, for his second coming, expecting a warm welcome from the people of Earth. You know, the ones he sacrificed himself for?
In terror, the people ran away! They knew Jesus would be able to see all the online porno they have watched, and would surely condemn them to an eternity in Hell, and two eternities for those watchers of gay porno, since we all know Jesus hates gay people. The invention of the internet and online porno had turned the entire human race into lustful sinful beings, known of which where worthy of Jesus's love.
Quite disappointed with the human race, and pissed the fuck off, Jesus decided that instead of trying to help the hopeless human race, that he would rather host a survivor game. It seemed like a lot more fun. But normal human beings were too unworthy, Only Pirates, Ninjas and Robots would be deemed worthy since they were sinners, but didn't bother trying to hide it.
10 Robots, 10 pirates and 10 ninjas embarked on the journey. In the beginning the pirate tribe was a complete disaster, with 10 pirates and 72 hours to complete their first challenge, all of them gave up on making a tribal flag, a simple request from Jesus and one he had expected would be complete with 10 players on the tribe. Captain Crunch, a future finalist was the only one capable of doing the challenge and submitted the following piece of shit, sending the pirate's tribe to Tribal Council.
The second challenge was even worse, Jesus in his very forgiving and merciful nature, created a challenge in which only 3 people out of 10 on the tribe needed to be online at a time to make some tasty treats. His competitors were so pathetically inactive, that not even 3 out of 10 of them could find themselves online at a time, and pirates won by making a sorry 2 drinks, which Captain Morgan drank on the spot.
9 players self voted out of the game, and took a ONE WAY ticket straight to HELL (aka pre-jury) where Satan probes his flaming hot trident up their asses, a suitable punishment for signing up for a game and doing absolutely nothing.
In all his fury, Jesus didn't give a shit if you were infected with inactivitus, and despite having the ability to cure you, he was a sadistic bastard instead.
Jesus decided that with so many useless pieces of shit having taking the time to sign up and do nothing in the game, that he needed to do an elimination challenge. A record setting 17 self votes and 9 players eliminated by self voting confirmed this. Jesus requests that the players actually COMMUNICATE and WRITE a fucking confessional, something that they should be doing on their own. 4 more players did not have 10 minutes in a 2 day period to devote to this assignment, if you can't devote 10 minutes to me, you deserve no sympathy.
Using his divine powers, he cast out these useless inactive players to an eternity of flaming anal torture at the hands of Satan in pre-jury, later adding Jackie Chan for being an annoying asian asshole who makes a lot of horrible movies.
Jesus had received a few complaints from players during the game about how the game sucked. Those complaints from Wall-E and GlaDOS, explained that they were inactive because they thought the game sucked. Both GlaDOS and Wall-E were also inactive in a "good" game, namely Survive Big Brother 3. Because of this, their criticisms lost all weight. If you are going to be an inactive useless piece of shit, take your own responsibility for it and don't blame the host, and for the love of God, my Daddy, DO NOT EVER SIGN UP FOR MY GAME AGAIN.
And To those of you who blame the game for the reason you were inactive or decided to be active in the beginning but decide to turn into asshole later.
I expected a lot more out of many of you, and I have seen you all do a lot better than you have in this game. When I have played in games you hosted.. some of which also reaked of inactivity, I still put my heart and soul into it, and the way many of you treated this game as a total joke was disrespectful and obnoxious. I don't do that in your games, don't do it in mine.
This was the first game I have hosted, and I had no PWs or Co-Host to help, and HAL would know trying to host a game this size without any help can be quite difficult. Well I did have Bella to "help", but rather than help she sabotaged my entire board and shut the game down instead. Thank you for the "help" Bella.
I think I did a pretty decent job for a first game. Next season will have applications, I hate doing them, but this game has given me absolutely no choice. Most of you are not welcome to apply(the last thing I want is a repeat of the inactivity in this game), and those who are probably the ones who actually played the game and will make All-Stars!
Allright, now to the votes!
Rosie, Captain Hook and Crunch, thank you for participating and actually playing the game, the 3 of you were the main reasons I did not end this game at the halfway point and kept it going despite how people were participating.
First Vote:
-
-
-
Second Vote:
-
-
-
Third Vote:
ROSIE
That is 1 vote for each of the finalists
Fourth Vote:
-
-
-
Fifth Vote:
-
-
-
-
HOOK
Sixth Vote:
That's 2 votes each for the Finalists, 4 votes left.
Seventh Vote:
-
-
Eighth Vote:
-
-
-
If this final vote is a vote for Captain Crunch, that will make this a 3-way tie!
-
-
-
This is NOT a vote for Crunch
Sorry Crunch, you are no longer in the running to win the game, you are officially 3rd place
Rosie and Captain Hook, good luck to the 2 of you.
-
-
-
THE WINNER OF SURVIVOR PIRATES VERSUS NINJAS VERSUS ROBOTS:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
CONGRATULATIONS ROSIE!!!!! Your family would be proud. Way to represent the robots and what an UPSET for the pirates, who seemed to have this game in the bag!
All-Stars coming up!
Jesus was just bored out of his fucking mind. One day, without his father's permission, Jesus decided to return to Earth, for his second coming, expecting a warm welcome from the people of Earth. You know, the ones he sacrificed himself for?
In terror, the people ran away! They knew Jesus would be able to see all the online porno they have watched, and would surely condemn them to an eternity in Hell, and two eternities for those watchers of gay porno, since we all know Jesus hates gay people. The invention of the internet and online porno had turned the entire human race into lustful sinful beings, known of which where worthy of Jesus's love.
Quite disappointed with the human race, and pissed the fuck off, Jesus decided that instead of trying to help the hopeless human race, that he would rather host a survivor game. It seemed like a lot more fun. But normal human beings were too unworthy, Only Pirates, Ninjas and Robots would be deemed worthy since they were sinners, but didn't bother trying to hide it.
10 Robots, 10 pirates and 10 ninjas embarked on the journey. In the beginning the pirate tribe was a complete disaster, with 10 pirates and 72 hours to complete their first challenge, all of them gave up on making a tribal flag, a simple request from Jesus and one he had expected would be complete with 10 players on the tribe. Captain Crunch, a future finalist was the only one capable of doing the challenge and submitted the following piece of shit, sending the pirate's tribe to Tribal Council.
The second challenge was even worse, Jesus in his very forgiving and merciful nature, created a challenge in which only 3 people out of 10 on the tribe needed to be online at a time to make some tasty treats. His competitors were so pathetically inactive, that not even 3 out of 10 of them could find themselves online at a time, and pirates won by making a sorry 2 drinks, which Captain Morgan drank on the spot.
9 players self voted out of the game, and took a ONE WAY ticket straight to HELL (aka pre-jury) where Satan probes his flaming hot trident up their asses, a suitable punishment for signing up for a game and doing absolutely nothing.
In all his fury, Jesus didn't give a shit if you were infected with inactivitus, and despite having the ability to cure you, he was a sadistic bastard instead.
Jesus decided that with so many useless pieces of shit having taking the time to sign up and do nothing in the game, that he needed to do an elimination challenge. A record setting 17 self votes and 9 players eliminated by self voting confirmed this. Jesus requests that the players actually COMMUNICATE and WRITE a fucking confessional, something that they should be doing on their own. 4 more players did not have 10 minutes in a 2 day period to devote to this assignment, if you can't devote 10 minutes to me, you deserve no sympathy.
Using his divine powers, he cast out these useless inactive players to an eternity of flaming anal torture at the hands of Satan in pre-jury, later adding Jackie Chan for being an annoying asian asshole who makes a lot of horrible movies.
Jesus had received a few complaints from players during the game about how the game sucked. Those complaints from Wall-E and GlaDOS, explained that they were inactive because they thought the game sucked. Both GlaDOS and Wall-E were also inactive in a "good" game, namely Survive Big Brother 3. Because of this, their criticisms lost all weight. If you are going to be an inactive useless piece of shit, take your own responsibility for it and don't blame the host, and for the love of God, my Daddy, DO NOT EVER SIGN UP FOR MY GAME AGAIN.
And To those of you who blame the game for the reason you were inactive or decided to be active in the beginning but decide to turn into asshole later.
I expected a lot more out of many of you, and I have seen you all do a lot better than you have in this game. When I have played in games you hosted.. some of which also reaked of inactivity, I still put my heart and soul into it, and the way many of you treated this game as a total joke was disrespectful and obnoxious. I don't do that in your games, don't do it in mine.
This was the first game I have hosted, and I had no PWs or Co-Host to help, and HAL would know trying to host a game this size without any help can be quite difficult. Well I did have Bella to "help", but rather than help she sabotaged my entire board and shut the game down instead. Thank you for the "help" Bella.
I think I did a pretty decent job for a first game. Next season will have applications, I hate doing them, but this game has given me absolutely no choice. Most of you are not welcome to apply(the last thing I want is a repeat of the inactivity in this game), and those who are probably the ones who actually played the game and will make All-Stars!
Allright, now to the votes!
Rosie, Captain Hook and Crunch, thank you for participating and actually playing the game, the 3 of you were the main reasons I did not end this game at the halfway point and kept it going despite how people were participating.
First Vote:
-
-
-
Second Vote:
-
-
-
Third Vote:
ROSIE
That is 1 vote for each of the finalists
Fourth Vote:
-
-
-
Fifth Vote:
-
-
-
-
HOOK
Sixth Vote:
That's 2 votes each for the Finalists, 4 votes left.
Seventh Vote:
-
-
Eighth Vote:
-
-
-
If this final vote is a vote for Captain Crunch, that will make this a 3-way tie!
-
-
-
This is NOT a vote for Crunch
Sorry Crunch, you are no longer in the running to win the game, you are officially 3rd place
Rosie and Captain Hook, good luck to the 2 of you.
-
-
-
THE WINNER OF SURVIVOR PIRATES VERSUS NINJAS VERSUS ROBOTS:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
CONGRATULATIONS ROSIE!!!!! Your family would be proud. Way to represent the robots and what an UPSET for the pirates, who seemed to have this game in the bag!
All-Stars coming up!
