They See Me Trollin'... They Hatin'...

[His Majesty, Barack Obaminator]

You know... something something something RIDIN' DIRTY!

Tryin'a catch me ridin' dirty
Summin summin ridin' dirty
summin summin ridin' dirty
Na na na na na ridin' dirty
Tryin'a catch me ridin' dirty...

Anyway, enough gangsta rap.

Now I'm sure all of you hosty types are all "Omagash, Barack is being a dick! He must have a master plan for winning!"

Fact is, you're wrong. I'm having interesting times in my life, and I decided I felt like trolling for the sheer hell of it. My entire game strategy revolves around being so much of a jerk that everybody will love me, sort of like Dr. House, except not crippled, and black.

I don't really intend to make alliances or anything. I think I'll just randomly vote for people.

This has no causal effect to someone insinuating that I am completely incapable of playing badly on purpose. Or something.

[CPNJesus]

Troll away! gonna have seeing what shit you're gonna pull in this one

[Batman]

My reaction was more like "Holy shit this dude is hilarious I'm gonna love watching him play!"

So yes, troll away!

[His Majesty, Barack Obaminator]

I dunno. I generally don't plan the crap I pull ahead of time, I just kind of pull crap on the spur of the moment. Makes it more fun.

We'll just have to wait and see...

[His Majesty, Barack Obaminator]

Round one.

Well, thank goodness we're using the Star Bank twist from CYSAS. I absolutely loved every single thing about that game and in no way wish that I had a time machine so I could go back in time and bitchslap some sense into my old self and save me a few months of headaches and irritation.

Anyway, let's see. I want 5 stars, so let's Use some ridiculous font rainbow for no apparent reason.

Now I know what you're thinking.

Ron: "WTF, Barack? This isn't a confessional!"

Anyway, check it.

Here's a list of the people on my tribe.

1. Jackie Chan
2. Fruit ninja
3. Barbie Ninja
4. Me
5. Haru
6. Elektra
7. Kitana
8. Deadpool.
9. Two other guys.

This isn't a ranking of how much I like them or anything. It's just a list. Lists are good for getting star points.

In order to increase my total star point potential, here's a list of black Presidents:

1. Barack Obama

...Well, that was sad. I think I might only be half-black, actually, so I'm not sure I even count.

Ron: "No, really, there is no content here! You aren't confessing anything!"

Shut up, Ron! I don't even read your books! Besides, the audience are getting a kick out of my dynamically apathetic style.

Audience: "Yaaaay! We love Barack!"

So, anyway, right now I'm currently pursuing a strategy of talking to nobody at all and doing nothing except saying obvious things in the challenge thread. I get the feeling that I'm probably not going to be voted off at any point in the near future, so I think I don't really have to care. Might as well let other people do the work, and I can just kind of hang out and do whatever I feel like. In this case it's nothing. I got a bathrobe for Christmas, and I'm wearing it. It makes me want to do nothing.

Anyway, there you go. My awesome confessional with lists and different font and reaction gifs. I hope you give me five stars because I met all of your criteria, even though it was in a dickish and totally unnecessarily mean way.

[His Majesty, Barack Obaminator]

We won?

Good to know that the pirates are a bunch of whoring lazy drunkards like I assumed they'd be.

I don't have anything else to contribute, so here's a list of things I'm currently looking at:

1. The computer
2. The stove
3. Nothing else, because the light in my kitchen is off.
4. but I could be looking at this bag of chips.
5. Blackness
6. More blackness.
7. Potentially the outline of a black guy hiding in the blackness. But I hope not.
8. My hands, typing on the keyboard.
9. What, I already told you there isn't anything. Leave me alone!

[His Majesty, Barack Obaminator]

It may not look like I'm using fancy colored fonts for this confessional, but I'm actually using different shades of black. Don't bother quoting the post, because they don't show up in proboards code.

And if you dare to say that all black fonts look alike, I will pummel your racist ass into the ground.

Yes, that's right. I just struck you speechless with my psychic precognition of your racist tendencies. That's why I'm awesome.

Anyway, a list of things that aren't blue.

1. Oranges.
2. Black people
3. Squirrels
4. Emperor Penguins
5. Tables
6. People who aren't choking
7. Trees
8. Pineapple upside-down cake
9. Butter knives
10. Waffles
11. The Thunderdome
12. The sun
13. A bowling green
14. My thumb
15. Twenty-seven misplaced socks.